Jag slutar med Sertralin och plötsligt kommer alla känslor tillbaka. Men jag önskar att sorg och gråt kom i hanterbara småsvall och lät bli att storma och dränka mig i okontrollerbara mängder tårar. Och kanske kunde annat låta bli att lägga sig i också. Fast: kanske är det sådant man får vänta sig.
Utsättningssymtom är uppenbarligen vanligt. Som till exempel den konstiga och obehagliga ”känslan”/upplevelsen (jag vet inte riktigt vad det ska beskrivas som) i huvudet som jag känt i en och en halv månad. Idag fick jag veta att det har ett namn: ”Brain zap” och följande beskrivning stämmer ganska väl in på vad jag känner.
”To explain what I felt, I will do my best to try to break down into words the feelings. Initially, there was a sinking feeling in my brain. If you’ve ever been to the Grand Canyon or a very tall building and looked down, there is a falling feeling that your brain sometimes throws at you though you are not falling at all. That feeling would happen for very short bursts, 2-3 seconds, enough to disrupt my thoughts, my work, and my being. I would just think, “What was that?” If I tapered over the recommended taper schedule (usually a week at a time step down, but keep in mind there’s only one strength lower than the 75 mg XR – the 37.5 mg XR. Then where do I go? Literally it didn’t matter. The big divide between the 75 mg and the 37.5 mg was enough to cause the “shivers” in my brain – a disorientation, falling, weird, and uncomfortable feeling.
“Brain zaps” are said to defy description for whomever has not experienced them, but the most common themes are of a sudden “jolt,” likened to an electric shock, apparently occurring or originating within the brain itself, with associated disorientation for a few seconds. The phenomenon is most often reported as a brief, wave-like electrical pulse that quickly travels across the surface of (or through) the brain. Some people experience these “waves” through the rest of their body, but the sensation dissipates quickly. They are sometimes accompanied by brief tinnitus and vertigo like feelings. Immediately following this shock is a light-headedness that may last for up to ten seconds. The sensation has also be described by many as a flashbulb going off inside the head or brain. Moving one’s eyes from side to side quickly while open has also been known to trigger these zaps and sometimes causing them to come in rapid succession. It is thought to be a form of neuro-epileptiform activity.”
Idag har allt obehagligt besatt mig; kraftiga humörsvängningar, ilskeutbrott, gråtattacker, dessa ”brain zaps”, något har snört åt bröstkorgen, hänsynslösa och ovälkomna tankar — och tröttheten, förstås. Alltid.
Först nu känner jag mig… riktigt sjuk och att allt är utom min kontroll. Jag kan inget annat än vänta. Sorry, folks!
